Stop attention seeking

Okay so this is a weird one. But I’m so sick of every god damn person attention seeking. If you wanna post about something because you want somebody to talk to you, fine. Some find it hard to explicitly ask for help. But when you message me saying ‘I’ just so confused’ and when I ask why you say you don’t wanna talk about it, you’re gonna be ignored. Don’t post about your issues but when get asked about it, say I don’t wanna talk about it. If that is the case, make where you post it private. That is what I do. Hence with this blog. A place for me to ramble anonymously without the fear of being exposed. Been looking at some blogs on Tumblr for inspiration. I ate like a fucking pig today. Tomorrow I will have a roast dinner, maybe an iced coffee since they were reduced in Tesco, but that is it. Maybe crisps or something, idk. I’ll then try and walk Marley if the weather is good as another way to burn off the calories. Main reason why I don’t just fast tomorrow is since Monday I’m going to fast since I (should be anyway) am getting my braces off so don’t want any left-over food in there. Will obviously brush my teeth but still. Just making sure. Might have McDonalds on Tuesday as a treat but not sure yet. Depends how well I do Sunday and Monday. Might get one if I do lots of walking around town before and after my first appointment. Might get off around the bus lane which is 10 min bus ride so should be at least around 30 or so mins walking. Will likely get off earlier then walk to the hospital around 20 mins before. Slightly paranoid about it though since I know my teeth aren’t perfect but I’m trusting them. Also, haven’t received a phone call or text confirming my appointment. May phone Monday to check. In order to help with my day long binge (hate myself so much) I’ve taken 3 of my appetite suppressant pills – they also act as a laxative so hoping that I’m shitting loads later. Will have 2 in the morning and maybe one tomorrow evening and then again on Monday to prepare myself for the day. I will do it. Fill up on water and I’ll be good (or maybe some diet drinks from the canteen). Will also be travelling for a couple hours home so that will motivate me as well. Oh, another thing. Probably shouldn’t talk about this since I’ll have another breakdown, but the video assignment I had to do (the group one) I’ve fucked up. I am a parent in the video, but a parent is not a professional so I will have to refilm on Monday but don’t want to. I’ve had thoughts that maybe a parent is not good enough but ignored it. Now I regret it. But don’t know how we will film it since Neve and Tyla do not concentrate at all. They always get told to be quiet and (this isn’t their fault) but they do not know what they are on about. They’ve never done health and social care before, never worked in that environment, so don’t go into much detail. If I ask questions, they do not know fully how to answer (would be better if we had actual professionals or did this at the end when we have more experience but okay Kerrie). So that sucks. That’s just a brief run down of that assignment since I’ve already cut tonight over it so don’t want to again, so yeah. Life is shit as always but hey. I would write a positive thing right now but can’t think of any. Oh, I saw Bella yesterday. She’s cute