Why do I bother with her?

Okay, something I'm becoming way too self-conscious of is saying I. Like other people have it worse, so talking about myself is rude. I feel like I shouldn't just talk about myself even when I say 'I hope you feel better' like they're sick and I'm just talking about myself. Just so ahh. It probably isn't something my mind should be thinking but my mind can't help it. Even writing this, my brain is thinking of other ways to say I. I've said it too much even though this thought diary is essentially about me and my thoughts! Of course I'm going to say I but it's just fucking with my head too much. IDK.

*** Later on. Okay basically, there was a big bus mess up thing today; I tried to go to college but it failed. Mum doesn't care. She blames me for trying. I haven't stopped crying for about 15 mins. I cried in front of her and she just got more angry. She yelled at me and made me feel shit. I left the room of course. I went upstairs and gave myself 3 new, deep cuts. It felt good. I loved seeing the blood droplet fall down my leg. The only issue is that blood kinda stains so my leg whoops. She won't care. I kinda wanna get the 6:15 bus back tomorrown because I don't want to be near her right now. I'll come home and just go to my room. No dinner. I'll starve myself. I'm in pain. So much pain. I honestly feel that if Tommy wasn't here, neither would I. On the plus side, I had a nap, which is good since I probably won't sleep tonight without thinking of killing myself.