Realisation ( I would like to point out the this is also 420 words ;-) ayy)

Do you ever have a sudden realisation? I guess like an epiphany but less life changing and more soul crushing. Because I have. More recently – like within the last few months. I realised how little I actually mean to people. They only say nice things when you’re upset but any other time they don’t care. Another one which isn’t exactly GROUNDBREAKING NEWS, but something that I’ve really come to understand now. I’m ugly. My pores are fucking huge! It’s because of this that it looks like I have loads of blackheads which I probably do to be honest. My nose is also horrible; so many huge pores, spots, and it’s also big as well. Too round. I hate it. I have spots that won’t go away. I can’t even apply makeup without it looking horrible around my spots. Eyebrows so uneven and I can’t fill them in correctly so I always look terrible. Wrinkles under my eyes, at least I think they’re wrinkles. Whatever they are, I don’t like them. In general my skin looks horrid. I can’t exactly hide it either. At least not without looking suspicious or without being harassed and being called a terrorist. I mean, that’s just facial features! I could also talk about my body. It’s fat and horrible. Stretch marks and cut scars all over my legs. Thunder thighs and huge calves make me so self-conscious when wearing a skirt or shorts outside. Somewhat ironic that I love shorts but only inside my own home. My stomach is like a fucking elephant’s. Arms the size of my legs. Practically no hair in certain parts of my head. I think it’s called a widows peak or something; I don’t know. I hate it nonetheless. My boobs are too saggy and just ugh. Even my feet are disgusting with the verruca’s that won’t go away and all the dead skin. Just so much ugh about me. I hate it when people lie and say ‘no you’re pretty!’ and other bullshit like that. Why do they need to lie so much? I know it’s to be a good friend but it’s so frustrating. Anyway, on an upside, I have pizza for breakfast and lunch. No dinner as Grandma keeps blaming me for throwing away food that was out of date even though I’m one of the few people who will actually help her but she doesn’t give a shit does she?! I guess I realised I hate everything and everyone. I’m such a stereotypical teenager aren’t i?